How social media is making you polygamous (Part Two)

In a polygamous relationship, convenience for the man, is elevated above commitment. If a man has two partners and there is something about his relationship with one of his partners that he does not like, he has the option of going to his other partner for a better experience. And the more partners he has, the higher his chances of never having to deal with anything he does not like about any of his partners. This is a very attractive type of relationship for the polygamous man because it feeds his carnal selfishness and greed.

Polygamy, however, in the long-term is very unfulfilling for both the husband and his partners. Commitment to a relationship only when it is convenient for you suffocates growth of that relationship and the parties in it. Whether is it business, education, faith, relationships, etc., undivided and unwavering commitment is required for growth to be realised.

But since polygamous relationships are designed to shield the polygamous man against having to deal with most/any of his partner’s unpleasant or low moments, the bonds formed in there are often shallow as the man and his partners never really get to know and bond with each other.

Just reflect upon your life and think about the people you hold dearest. How did those people become so dear to you and when did that happen? Is there any person you hold dear in your life on account of always being with you during your happy and good times?

It is during the low moments, the trying moments, in the midst of dealing with life’s challenges that we all want someone in our life. And whoever stands with us during those moments is the one we bond with most allowing them a very special place in our life. For the partner of a polygamous man, this special bond with her man is never realized because whenever a bonding opportunity avails itself disguised as challenges, the man is somewhere else in pursuit of comfort.

As a result, the polygamous man also never gets to experience affection from an intimate partner offering it from the deepest depths of her heart because none of his partners has allowed him that very special place in her heart because it is reserved only for the one who will be there for her through the thick and thins of life.

The hollowness and lack of depth in connection between a man and his partners in a polygamous relationship is something many of us today are also experiencing in our relationships with family and friends.

In many ways, thanks to social media, we behave like the polygamous man—always avoiding any moment in our relationships that requires our investment of time, openness, patience, physical presence, finances, etc. We too have elevated convenience over commitment.